Friday, December 8, 2017

What to speak of when speaking is monitered, censored and licensed?

 Firstly- Happy Birthday to the love of my life.

The idea of creating a blog post several times a month is a lovely one. Especially after so much time.

I honestly enjoy the process and find it to add depth and breadth to the professional and personal work of understanding of myself.

So while doing research on some of the best techniques to use for building a website, I came across the strategy of adding to a blog to highlight what you're doing... I instantly thought of the blog I keep for myself. Would it be so awful to spend time reflecting on the week's work and consider it an important part of my new private practice?

Did I mention I'm going into private practice?
Did I mention it's been brewing for the last several months and has only now been blossoming into a new little seedling?
Have I mentioned I facilitated my first Mindful Art group this week and was very uplifted by the support I received by the group members, family and friends?
This is all happening and I'm very encouraged by the ease with which it is happening.
It feels like I am prepared for whatever comes and I have a firm foundation with which to send my message.
Thus far, the response to my message has been very positive. And although I am aware of some of its criticisms, I believe I have to faith and courage necessary to accept them and move on with them regardless.

I know at my core that I am doing what I was put on this earth to do. This is my path.
And I know not many people can say that with confidence. But I can. And I am eternally grateful for it.

So that brings me back to what topics I might choose to explore in my blog that would be relevant for newcomers to this potential website...
There's always looking at examples of what others are writing.
What I've noticed thus far is that they tend to be uninteresting though...
I'd want to showcase the happenings and artwork of my clients, although I would definitely need plenty of permission and definitely need to scour the ethical codes and practices for ERVERYTHING.
However, I think it would definitely be worth it.
Me talking about my art process isn't as powerful as a showcase of how the art therapy process surprises its creators pretty much every time I hold a group.

I definitely have to look that up... If I can't discuss these important things then there has to be some other way to make a blog relevant on a professional page....

We'll see what we can come up with then...

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

A review of months surrendering to the force

Although there may be one or two people who are aware of this blog, the purpose and its existence remains the same, which is very comforting.

After several years I am continuing to explore my inner world and awareness and hope to continue until the day my body ceases to function.

Over the last 10 months my life has taken a significant turn. Reviewing it month by month may help to clarify it for anyone interested and for myself especially.

2017- An Important year
     In mid 2016 I began a gratitude journal in which I wrote out at least three things I was grateful for every single day. It's a practice I still continue today. Every month I write out some intentions and goals I'd like to work on and at the end of the month I write out a little review to see how I did. At the beginning of the year I wrote out "I believe this one [year] may be a really important one for ourselves and our families."
     In addition to this I made the commitment to read 10 books this year. By the end of January it became evident that this goal was very modest.

January- I broke down and firmly decided to quit a job that was making me miserable, no matter what the cost. I'd spent the last couple of years working for an agency I didn't believe in that was also severely stressful and draining my energy both emotionally and physically. January 22nd- I made a resolution to move on. January 23rd- I had an interview scheduled. January 27th- interview complete. January 30th- I was offered a new job. The universe works quick. Books= 9

February- Finally left the old job and began the new one. At this point in time my spouse and I were under the impression we would be moving to Asheville NC in the summer. Therefore I was also working diligently to acquire a counseling license in NC. My spouse was also going through a doctoral comps process that I was doing my best to support them in. Books= 8

March- I settled into my new job nicely this month. I was preparing for an important exam for my NC licensure application. My mother and brother visited and helped clean out some clutter in my basement that was weighing us down. Books= 5

April- This month was much more important in transitioning me to new levels of awareness than I ever thought at the time. I had completed and passed the exam, although plans to move were quickly becoming less and less feasible given the job market in the NC area. I also made the commitment to become a vegetarian. I had dabbled with the idea for several months and felt certain enough to follow through. In my gut (no pun intended) I felt certain that if I wanted to continue to grow, this was the next step for me, although I didn't fully understand it at the time. Books= 7

May- I was inspired to attend my first Reiki session this month. This experience has laid the ground work for much of the changes in my life. I've become open and an active participant in my own spiritual awakening because of this. Love was a priority this month in many respects. Books= 4

June- The motto for this month was "The Universe is expanding." I began going to weekly meditations at a nearby healing center to help facilitate getting rid of the old and make room for the new. This month my spouse and I struggled with money concerns. My work hours had been cut and that was all the income we had at the time. It was definitely a challenge but with the new perspectives we approached the problem differently than in the past, which was invigorating. Books= 4

July- I continued to explore using meditation, books and challenging experiences as guides. I became attuned in Reiki I and looked forward to developing the skill. My spouse and continued to struggle financially in some respects but remained optimistic regardless. We saw many family and friends this month which is a rare and always welcome surprise. Books= 6

August- Thankfully, the streak of having the opportunity to visit with and see family continued. This month I continued my journey and was trained in Reiki II. During this process it also became evident that the supplements and pills I had been taking weren't necessary for every day use, so I stopped. My spouse also got a job, which significantly eased any tensions we had about finances. The eclipse also occurred during this month and marked an important energetic shift for myself and many others. Books= 6

September- The month of September marked a significant birthday for me and challenged me emotionally in many ways. This was a month of transition from the old way I lived my life into a new way of looking at the world. There had been many changes and I would be a fool to assume that the repercussions of those decisions would not have challenging consequences. Books= 6

October- Thus far the month has proven that the changes I have made are beginning to pay off in the form of direct guidance and increased patience. It is easier to make decisions that are in the best interest of myself and others. I feel increasingly supported both internally and from the people I've chosen to surround myself with. Yoga has begun to resurface as a very important element in my life, necessary for the next phase the universe is preparing me for. Books thus far= 2

     Needless to say, I gave up on giving myself a set number of books to read. After 52 (a book every week of the year) I figured this year's number might just be a good benchmark for next. In complete honesty- I only technically read a handful (probably less than 10). I mostly listen to the audio versions during my commutes and at home while doing chores. I highly recommend it for auditory learners. It's my firm belief that my continual urge to learn more about the world and myself helped to fuel the fire so I could continue to make positive changes and more informed choices.

     At this point in time I am extremely amazed at the positive shifts my life has made. It's very clear that I'm doing something right. Although it may not always be easy, there is an ease and a peace that continues to grow and further inspire me to surrender to this process.

     In several months I went from being entirely dependent on the outside world to fulfill my needs and make me happy to creating my own happiness and feeling so personally empowered that it is sincerely hard to imagine how I used to make it through the day, let alone struggle for years.

Some of you may not understand, but I hope some of you do.

I don't think I've ever felt better in my life, about all aspects of my life.

THAT is totally worth a celebration!





Wednesday, June 14, 2017

What if...?

After going at turtle speed, I have learned a few things...

1) All of this goes much deeper than I realized. Years and years and years go by and the struggle is still very much real. If you continue to follow the rabbit hole, it gets much more interesting.

2) My journey is taking me into places I hadn't known I had visited before. Small instances and memories in time come flooding back as AH HA! moments.

3) Faith in your journey and in whatever orchestrates this world comes naturally the more you tune into it.

4) I have a great many feelings about this journey, not all of them great. Fear and doubt are the most prevalent right now, but in an hour or two I may be weeping from sheer joy or relief that another puzzle piece has locked into place and I am so grateful to have experienced it.

5) Writing helps to solidify ideas, so needless to say after spending so much time incubating in the land of abstraction, I am again in need of more concrete ways to make sense of it all.

I don't expect anyone to know of this blog outside of a select few (family and close friends) who know of its existence and are interested in this story.

There have been many days now that I find myself thinking that I literally may be falling into psychosis, although I feel better than I ever have in my life. The reason I say psychosis is because I am beginning to question the nature of our physical world. I am beginning to question what is truly real and what is an ego-based reality we spin to keep ourselves "safe."

In other words, what if we allowed ourselves to entertain the idea that spirits exist? What if we allowed ourselves to entertain the SILLY notion that maybe there is energy in every living thing and perhaps even inanimate objects. After all, the advances we have been making in science, astrophysics and our own experiences appear to be saying these things. Watch some documentaries on Netflix and scan some recently published peer-reviewed articles if you don't believe me. People are researching aura fields, meditation, and energy much more than they used to. Why? Why bother? Because they're finding interesting results... that bring up many more questions than answers.

Is it possible, that in this day and age, the idea of energy medicine- healing ourselves by non-physical methods, can be our "is the Earth round?" moment? Can we begin to see without judgment and experience for ourselves what MIGHT be true and accept that science has its limitations.


There are a lot of questions about the pineal gland. Hell, there's a lot of questions about a lot of things in our bodies supposedly connected to higher spiritual planes.


What I'm saying is that I'm willing to listen.
I'm willing to experience for myself what might be out there, as long as I can be safe while doing it.
And NO I'm not talking about taking crazy drugs.


What if... ?

I'd rather live my life asking "What if?" than saying "I know."