I avoid making it because I know once the seal gets broken, a flood will more or less consume me with its wealth of information.
What I often do not expect is to begin making artwork, and continue and continue and still feel uncomfortable and dissatisfied with the problems I've been facing.
Or feeling as though I'm still only scratching the surface.
Let me be more specific.
There is a specific client that has been haunting my thoughts as of late.
Imagine you are dangling into nothingness, your hands gripping the edge of a precipice.
Your feet are dangling into a large black hole that appears to be sucking you in.
Now imagine feeling gravity shift.
The suction from the black tunnel lessens and you are able to kick a leg over the side, gain more stability. Until gravity shifts again and you are at the mercy of another wave of suction.
Now... this may seem strange, but imagine you enjoy this... this back and forth.. this thrill.
What a RUSH! Its so intriguing!
You become mesmerized by the abyss.
It suddenly doesn't seem as black and dark as it once did.
You see blue, maybe water.. maybe sky!
You hear music, beautiful music coming from its depths.
Its sounds so peaceful... melodic.
It even appears that the suction gives you respites at moments when you need them...
You can almost predict them now, like a game.
It seems like you may be beginning to understand this place, you're becoming friends.
And it would be so easy to just let go and see what happens...
You could finally satiate your curiosity.
You can really find out what's down there, where's the music coming from, why is it trying so hard sometimes to suck you in then letting go?
Isn't it worth a shot?!
And with that thought... the prospect of continuing to hold seems so much more daunting...
And letting go... might not be such a bad idea after all..
Only...
You've been warned this would happen...
There have been countless upon countless of people who have told you of this danger.
A hole like this one.
Stories from people who have been down to the bottom of the abyss and somehow made it out again, tattered, shredded and bloody.
They speak of Sirens, singing out because they do not know what else to do.
The Sirens sing of loneliness so absolute... So haunting...
And you know that if you can just tell them the truth, prove to them that they are not alone, maybe there could be a chance!
Maybe YOU could be the one to finally end their sorrow?!
Perhaps the others were wrong somehow...
The song is being sung for you... they don't understand...
Then the precipice shakes...
Silence...
You must have waited too long...
Are the Sirens upset with you?
Deafening silence.
And you feel an ache in your chest being to rise.
The loss of the suction.
The loss of the beautiful songs and the luring whispers as well.
The darkness returns.
You want to hear the voices again, but deep down you know the others were right.
They predicted this would happen.
Now is your time to climb out, make a run for it!
Only you still believe there might be some ounce of truth to you remaining where you are...
The others also spoke of a shred of hope...
But it was often only achieved with great knowledge, experience and insight.
You consider this possibility.
Do you have what it takes?
It would require much more than you have at the moment...
Many more resources...
You cannot play around anymore.
This is no longer a game.
The Siren can be saved.
And if it truly wants to be saved, they must listen to your song as well.
But it cannot be from the bottom...
You must remain where you are...
And with that decision, it becomes clear what you must do...
It is not the most safe place to be...
But it is thrilling...
And it does take much more energy than you originally thought...
And you don't know if it will be worth it in the end, but you are trying.
And maybe one day the Siren will see and hear your own song...
"First you will come to the Sirens who enchant all who come near them. If any one unwarily draws in too close and hears the singing of the Sirens, his wife and children will never welcome him home again, for they sit in a green field and warble him to death with the sweetness of their song. There is a great heap of dead men's bones lying all around, with the flesh still rotting off them. Therefore pass these Sirens by, and stop your men's ears with wax that none of them may hear; but if you like you can listen yourself, for you may get the men to bind you as you stand upright on a cross-piece half way up the mast, and they must lash the rope's ends to the mast itself, that you may have the pleasure of listening. If you beg and pray the men to unloose you, then they must bind you faster."
The piece that inspired this post.
Its comforting to know that the answers are out there somewhere....
I just have to trust my own process...
Now... It's time to invest in a vertical tent.
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