Case: A large muscular 18 year old with a stare like ice argues with me for 10 minutes because I gave the group a choice for what to do and the rest of the group chose the one he didn't want... But that wasn't all.
He continues to argue after I tell him he couldn't do the task by himself because it would defeat the purpose of working as a group and I couldn't be in two places at once to give instruction.
So after he continues to mumble and I can no longer make out the bullshit, he refuses group and sulks on the couch for the entire session.
(I might also mention that I gave a small set of the materials he wanted to work with to the cottage for the boys to use whenever they wanted...And he knew this...).
So after group I spent 10 minutes trying to convince this kid to talk to me and finally do after basically threatening to take a week's worth of day trips away from him.
During our conversation he stated several things- but what I could make out of his mumblings was:
1) I had convinced his peers to choose the other task
2) I patronized him because I gave him a shitty reason why he couldn't work alone
3) I wanted to piss him off on purpose because I had the power to and I get off on it.
So after we trudged through all of that he finally admitted that maybe it wasn't me after all! Maybe it was his perception and he got so mad because he has a default setting that tells him everyone in the world is out to screw him over.
DING DING DING! What has he won Johnny!?!
Now for some background:
This kid has been abandoned and mistreated by adults/authority figures all his life and is essentially alone in the world. He actually has a case open in the state because he had CHOKE MARKS on his neck after an incident with staff... Meanwhile, there is NO restraint permissible in the organization that could possibly result in CHOKE MARKS on ANY CHILD'S NECK. Needless to say he's got plenty of reasons to mistrust adults- despite whether the staff in this instance believed the kid needed to be restrained (which is only when they are in danger of injuring themselves or others).
However, as I'm talking to this kid I'm thinking,
"Seriously dude... Was the lighting a factor too? That lamp is pretty dim... maybe they couldn't see their options clearly... What time is it? 20 minutes really?! FUCK! Wait, he's crying! YESSSS! I've got him!!"
Now... despite my inner thoughts this kid obviously has some issues AND with good reason. And, as mortifying as it can be to admit, I see a lot of my narcissistic self in his sulky responses. I'd like to think I'm slightly more mature but I'm mostly being VERY kind and giving myself the benefit of the doubt because a 30 year old probably SHOULD be more mature.
So why the completely apathetic monologue in my head? His attitude? The time I had to take? Not really. I just have this conversation with myself all too frequently... The only good news is that I've grown up enough to have this conversation with myself instead of relying on someone else to coax me through a faulty rationale. Which thankfully saves SOME embarrassment though not all.
CUT!
The Empire Strikes Back. Luke is being trained and he's drawn to a cave where he has a vision that he's fighting Vader, but is actually himself.
Luke: There's something not right. I feel cold. Death...
Yoda: That place, is strong with the dark side of the force. A domain of evil it is. In you must go.
Luke: What's in there?
Yoda: Only what you take with you. Your weapons, you will not need them.
Your worst enemy is yourself right?
... Maybe.
I'll let everyone in on a little secret that only Tom Cruise knows about...
Therapy, despite its best intentions, is mind manipulation.
SURE they can deny it all they want and dress it up in fancy words but any therapist that tells you otherwise is lying to you and themselves.
My job is to alter the brains of people whose minds have been shaped in a different way and/or who have learned behaviors that are unacceptable to our society.
And specifically- as an art therapist, my job is to MANIPULATE YOUR MIND, most of the time without you even realizing it. I don't even start off with WORDS!!
I give you innocent looking crayons and markers and ask you to do things like draw a picture of someone picking an apple from a tree.
What kind of mind fuck shit is THAT?!?
....
Yea... Who's a Jedi now?
So not only do I mess with your mind, but MY MIND is very likely messed up in the same way!! HURRAY!!
However, the catch 22 is how could someone truly understand and empathize unless they have faced the same beasts?
It would be like Yoda training Luke without being a Jedi to begin with.
How can you understand a language you cannot speak?
Let's Chewie on that, shall we?
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