Dank, dirty and wet

There is an entirely different way of living if you live alone.

I've never had the opportunity to do so.
My significant other and I met young and so it was just a hop, skip and a jump from family home, to dorms with roommates to living together.
And as long as we've been together, there have been very few times in which I have had the opportunity to be the sole provider of my own nourishment, hygiene and entertainment.

I gotta say... It's pretty fucking nice.

I have COMPLETE CONTROL.
Which is a good thing if you tend to lean in that personality direction to begin with.

In these situations you literally have to ask yourself-
What do I want?
What do I need?
And the only one you need to consult is... yourself, for any of these answers.

I can imagine this lifestyle would ensure a certain amount of maturity.
However, there are people who are better at it than others...
Taking care of themselves, rather.

Me?
I'm not the BEST at it.

These little fruit fly fuckers for instance.
(And this is one of the most benign images I found. So if you feel like gagging- by all means, google fruit flies or any other undesirable household insect). 
WHERE THE HELL DO THEY COME FROM!!
It's like they freaking arrive from NO WHERE and decide to host Tango Night on the tomato laying on the counter.
They're taking advantage of my irresponsibility!! WTF!

So... if I'm considering this in a whole picture kind of way-

Are there any fruit fly fuckers in the dank dark recesses of my SOUL?  ? That just sounds disgusting...
Ones that arrive when the environment changes? When things get shifted around?
And not completely unlike the dust bunnies coalescing and developing a strategy to attack via allergic air strike because I moved the furniture?

Look, so if you haven't gathered by now, my apartment is a mess.
Yes, I've cleaned it a little- mostly to keep the fruit flies out.
But I'll freely admit, I'm not the cleanest person alive.

However, I would like make an observation (that my co-workers have as well).
As I began cleaning out and reorganizing my apartment, my desk at work became deplorable.

This week? My desk is the most organized it's been since I got it a YEAR ago.

All I'm saying is that it seems an awful lot like plugging up one hole in a boat, only to find another one springing up a few feet away. 

(See what I did there? Eh? Political cartoon... yea...)
So is that how this soul searching stuff works too?
Are we always juggling aspects of our lives and when any one holds our attention for too long the others suffer in one way or another?

It may be.
It reminds me of a story I heard once.

A professor is giving a lecture on time management.
He fills a jar with large stones and asks the audience if it's full.
They reply yes.
He then adds a bag of pebbles to the top and asks again.
They get the picture and say no.
He says correct, and pours in sand to the top.
He asked again, and they respond no.
The professor then adds water until the jar is completely filled.

The point? You would not be able to fill the jar with the same materials if you did not add the large stones first.
In the story the professor likened these to family, health, friends, passion, goals.
So if you have the big things-  the little things will take care of themselves and fall into place.

So there you have it.
Big picture stuff.

Kinda goes back to Maslow's hierarchy of needs.
There's not a whole lot of self-actualizing going on if you're starving and sleep deprived. Although I'm sure I could find someone who disagrees.

I would imagine living alone just makes a lack of those large stones more pronounced.
Like if you didn't have family or friends around... 

*sigh*
All this boils down to one thing...

But not tonight, because the plane lands in about 45 minutes...